Today, modern idiosyncrasies like Covid-19, racial and social injustice, political rivalries and global warming to name only a few, all have one common trait that is the hallmark of our modern malaise: a disconnect to oneness.
We now have the opportunity to explore the mechanisms of our connectivity, with the hope that we can deepen our bond with each other, realizing that to care about the other is to care about oneself, that macro and micro are truly intertwined, and that we are all inter-connected since all is oneness.
EGO,VULNERABILITY AND MODERNITY
With today’s modern amenities and technological implements, feeling at one with the collective, while standing out as an individual seems to be the common objectives of our societal project.
We have unprecedented access to methods of communication previously unimaginable. We can instantly reach more people than it was previously possible in an entire lifetime. Stardom and fame and celebrity status have become so common that they have turned into a benchmark of personal worth and success. We have created technologies that allow us to travel the world in record time and connect with an immense amount of people, and despite all of this, we still struggle to connect to one an other.
Divisions over religion, skin colour, ideologies, politics, gender, sexual orientation, income and so forth have become systemic. The more division we construct the more we feed into the illusion of distance between us. This illusion of disunion ultimately results in disconnections. And the more we disconnect from each other and the world we live in, the more we crave to be re-united. Unity is our natural state of being.
We want to feel connected to our planet but feel uncomfortable spending more than 5 minutes in a garden. We want to feel connected to our body but pollute it with toxic thoughts, mal-nutritious foods and unhealthy lifestyles. We want to connect with each other but we rather focus on our differences than finding how we are complimentary to one an other.
The more boxes we create to satisfy our self-constructed sens of identity, the more walls we build. The more walls we build the less vulnerable we are. The less vulnerable we are the less we are able to connect.
Why is it that we crave connection, since we have all the tools necessary our disposition but still are not able to achieve it?
Connection is why we are all here, it gives meaning and purpose to our lives. Arguably our quest for connection and a sense of oneness is at the origin of the human experiment. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, to be vulnerable. There are two things that keep us disconnected: our fear that we are not worthy of connection and the false impression that self is separate from the other.
Creating connection requires radical honesty and vulnerability. It asks that you come unarmed with pride, false-narratives and fear. It requires you to be willing to be seen and to see without judgement, to expose your strengths and weaknesses. It demands that you let go of shame; that feeling that lets you believe you're not worthy of connection.
Take our relationship with our planet as an example. A Meaningful connection with nature is possible only when we abandon our pride, embrace our vulnerability to natures great power, stop believing in the false-narrative that nature is subservient to us, and fear that if we do not exert control over it, it will control us.
Once we let go of shame, have the courage to be imperfect, express compassion for ourselves and others and accept that we are part of something bigger than our own ego, connection is possible as it is then the result of authenticity.
Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
As an identical twin, it was generally assumed that I had a privileged bond with my brother, that I had some special insider information about what it meant to be and feel connected. The truth is, I was terrified of this oneness for a long time. For me, connecting meant loosing my individuality, my flavour, my self, it meant being absorbed, forgotten, invisible and irrelevant. I thought that I had to choose between being me as a single individual and being me as unit. I thought I had to choose between my individuality and the common experience.
I now understand that to be connected doesn’t take away anything from me. On the contrary, it adds increase in every area of my being. Connection is the energy that exists between us when we feel seen, heard, and valued; when we can give and receive without judgment; and when we derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
As Brené Brown said: "We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
Around the world the truth of our oneness is known by indigenous cultures, spiritual traditions and even some modern scientists. Our authentic self is inter-connected and that is why we long for connection, or rather re-connection. To accomplish this we have to be able to look at our cultural narratives, question our beliefs and change this worldview of separation. By realizing that ultimately all is self and that we are all connected, we then can finally accept our vulnerability (because we know we are supported), let go of shame (because we now own our story) and re-connect with our authentic selves.
In the next few weeks I will be exploring with you this concept of inter-connection. Reaching out to different people from different fields and backgrounds. Learning about how they experience connections in their everyday lives. What it means for them to connect in this new world order.
Join me next week as I explore connection to the universe and the concept of flow.
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